Birthdays. A rare 24 hours where the spotlight is focused exclusively on you, but modestly, you accept this inevitability. (Who am I kidding? Every day in my house is a celebration of my sheer existence and fabulousness). So when someone forgets your birthday, it’s an awkward moment filled with different emotions. On the one hand, you’re mortified an event of such magnitude could be forgotten, but on the other hand, you realise that to most people it’s just another day of the week. No different to yesterday, no better than tomorrow.
How dare they.
So because you’re not the only diva out there, here’s 11 things that go through your head when someone forgets your birthday. How do I know? I think them too.
1. “But I remembered theirs?”
You make a mental note not to ever send them a Happy Birthday message on Facebook ever again.
2. “It’s not like they’ve even got lots going on…”
You scroll through their social media looking to see how much time they’ve spent doing other non-important things like visiting family, working and looking after their children. To which you conclude, they had exactly 17 minutes spare that they didn’t use to buy your gift.
3. “I spent hours choosing their present!”
You thought about their interests, hobbies, favourite scent, favourite food, future plans, preferred style, the interior design of their home… Although you don’t give to receive, you can’t help but feel somewhat shortchanged here.
4. “Well, they bought [shared close friend] a birthday present”
The ultimate betrayal, but you still have to smile and act interested whenever your friend mentions or uses their (unfairly bought) birthday present. It’s a true test of your facial expression abilities.
5. “Okay, that’s fine, I’ll just conveniently forget theirs too.”
You don’t even care about the seriously high levels of pettiness going on, this is a justified case of tit for tat.
6. “We’ve been talking for 10 minutes and they still haven’t said Happy Birthday.”
Your body language is screaming ‘I’M WAITING FOR YOU TO SAY SOMETHING BEFORE I ACT NORMAL’ but at the same time you have to nod along and interject with fake laughs.
7. “Maybe I should have reminded them?”
But then you laugh at yourself for having such a ridiculous thought. People have Facebook, online calendars – they could have even studied the astrological star constellations to work it out! There’s no excuse.
8. “Maybe they’re doing it on purpose as a joke?!”
Your inner diva leads you to think all of this ‘forgotten your birthday’ fodder is just part of the build up towards a big, surprise birthday spectacular. It probably isn’t.
9. “I’ll give it another hour and then I’ll definitely say something”
An hour goes by, so obviously you postpone the big confrontation for another hour. Unintentionally, it’s now turned into a standoff, but it’s more a standoff with yourself as the other person doesn’t know or care what’s going on in your head.
10. “Wait, is it actually my birthday?”
At some stage in this emotional breakdown when someone forgets your birthday, you’ll even question whether you’ve got the right day. “Does Daylight Saving Time move entire days forward and back? Did I sleep for 72 hours? What year is it?”
11. “You know what, they’ve probably got bigger and more tropical fish to fry”
And you know what? They probably have, but that’s life and it’s okay. When someone forgets your birthday, it’s normal to have these thoughts, but don’t let it ruin your day! There’s always next year.
Make sure you don’t miss a birthday and put anybody else through this self-sabotaging turmoil. Design personalised gifts online and make their day extra special.
Very funny! I can imagine my daughter thinking these thoughts.
So funny! I guess I would definitively get some of these thoughts if my husband forgets my birthday.
Great piece of work, thanks for sharing!
Today is my birthday. Nobody remembered yet i have never forgotten anyone’s birthday. I just feel so bad and can’t wait for this day to end
Happy early birthday 2020!
How is it you remember everyone else’s birthday? Do you write their BD’s on a calendar at the beginning of each year? Perhaps others don’t. If it upsets you that none of your friends remember, why not have a party and invite your friends? Unless they have designated drivers, either 0 alcohol, or let everyone bring a sleeping bag, and BYOB (“bring your own breakfast”) and you offer coffee, tea, and juice.)
Yvie, don’t feel alone. It happens to everybody at one time or another. It should be a disappointment but, to keep it in perspective, because WE KNOW HOW AWESOME WE ARE DANG IT, we don’t have to let it steal our joy or rain on our parade. The way I see it is when people get it in the vicinity- say within a week of my birthday, I’m okay with them (especially if I have been making an effort to remember theirs). So put your favorite eating clothes on (the PJs w/ the draw strung pants) pop some pop corn, grab your favorite soda and sweets and have a little party for yourself! And don’t forget to turn on your favorite TV series. If they remember in a few days, forgive. If they never remember- goodbye- that friend is not good enough for YOU!!! Blessings and hugs to ALL W/ forgotten birthdays from your angel friend out there in the world somewhere who knows just how you feel!
I have a bad relationship with my brother, we never talk and when it was his birthday a month ago, we went to my parent’s restaurant to celebrate at the end of the day (it was Friday so we could wake up late). My birthday is today and it might be because its a week day that they didn’t ask us to go and maybe bring home the cake (if they did get it) to celebrate when they get back from work or they forgot. I called them earlier asking them to bring home food when they go home and MAYBE I was expecting a “happy birthday,” but didn’t happen. I also have a bad relationship with my “parents,” I hate them but I still sorta socialize with them and tolerate them, we still laugh sometimes, it’s hard to explain. I don’t really feel excited for my birthday this year and last year and maybe 2 years ago, only a little, but why do I feel like they all forgot.. I don’t know why I care, I clearly hate them but not one person said happy birthday to me, not even my best friend..i feel so alone
Hey Crystal, happy belated birthday. Forgive your brother and parents for whatever they have done and move on with your life. Don’t dwell on the past or future, but to enjoy the present. – Vincent
I’m late your birthday was in March last year and you probably won’t see this but I’m so sorry :c . It’s my birthday tomorrow but I don’t really like birthdays I’m glad my country is still on lockdown so no one has to come over lol. But it’s almost march again I hope this year your birthday is better. I hope you don’t feel alone anymore. If no one else wishes you a happy birthday please remember my birthday wish (: HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAYY!!! YOU LIVED ANOTHER YEAR AND THAT’S SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!!!
Yep Vincent is right. It’s easy to drop friends who forget your birthday. But family members? They are harder to drop. Thing is, by blood and moral responsibility we are tied to them. If they are not abusive verbally or physically toward us we should work toward a decent relationship on a daily or weekly basis. All of us have an obligation to love and care for our family members. Start with communication and genuine caring about how they are doing now. Agree to leave the past in the past. Forgiveness is for YOU!!! “Do unto others as you would want done unto you.” (The Golden Rule.) It will help you to become the person that we all want to be. Remember their special day and take the lead in whether it will be a call, an e-card, a dinner w/ a cake and gifts or a trip or whatever- you set the standard for what you want others to follow. In-so-doing they will want to remember your special day more. Sometimes people are just waiting for us to show them an example of how we want to be loved. AND I find the more expectations for peace I have of God, when I put myself into a calm state of prayer, the more He gives it to me. Make Jesus your best friend. W/ God you are never alone! He never promised us happiness, only peace through life’s trials. God bless you!
Happy early birthday <3 I hope this year is better.
One of my close friend never wishes me! Nor apologize for forgetting while I have continously wished for hers. Our birthday is just 3 weeks apart. Sometimes I feel silly cause our friendship means more but then I feel if our friendship is so special then how come she forgets? It’s confusing…
For me my birthday is the most dreaded as well as the best time of my year. If there was no need to wish at all this innate struggle would be over ?♀️
A GIANT BEAR HUG TO EACH AND EVERY PERSON WHO WROTE!!! You are loved and cared-about! Hey guess what? Let’s start a BIRTHDAY CLUB!!!
We’ll make new friends and remember each other’s birthdays w/ e-cards or Facebook posts or cards in the mail or a phone call or a visit. Let’s get to know each other???
Do you remember (it was 40 years back maybe) the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer cartoon movie? And there was the island of misfit toys? Well that’s us, ladies and jellyfish- we’re the island of misfit ? toys- ha ha- we come from every walk of life and every age range. We can call ourselves the Birthday Club and we can give our email addresses and birthdays and put it on our e-calendars to wish so and so in Minnesota a happy birthday on Jan. 3, for ex. What do y’all think? There are clubs for everything else! Life has so many BIG problems (like addictions, etc.). I’m proud to be a part of a group that meets for a small thing like missed birthdays. I’ll spearhead this. My birthday is May, 1, 1966. I am Marie. (EvaMarie_Simone@yahoo.com). And I am grateful for all of these wonderful people! When you write your name, birthday and email address we can add it it to our calendars to remember you on your special day! Don’t forget to add something for which you are grateful (so we can keep smiling w/ an attitude of gratitude!) Thanks to all of you. You have turned my frown upside down! Love across the globe to my Birthday Club!
Huge thank you to Stephanie Lo for writing this truly funny article to sum up exactly the way I feel for being forgotten on my birthday I literally had every one of those feelings you listed LMFAO and you are right why let it ruin the day! Our birthdays are gifts and should be celebrated even if we are alone do something special for yourself, watch your fave movie anything that makes you smile. Happy Birthday to all who visit this page because we rock 🙂
My new friend (we’ve been friends for 8 months) she forgot to greet me a happy birthday yesterday, so now I’m wondering if she really considers me a friend or a stranger. lol