Birthdays. A rare 24 hours where the spotlight is focused exclusively on you, but modestly, you accept this inevitability. (Who am I kidding? Every day in my house is a celebration of my sheer existence and fabulousness). So when someone forgets your birthday, it’s an awkward moment filled with different emotions. On the one hand, you’re mortified an event of such magnitude could be forgotten, but on the other hand, you realise that to most people it’s just another day of the week. No different to yesterday, no better than tomorrow.
How dare they.
So because you’re not the only diva out there, here’s 11 things that go through your head when someone forgets your birthday. How do I know? I think them too.
1. “But I remembered theirs?”
You make a mental note not to ever send them a Happy Birthday message on Facebook ever again.
2. “It’s not like they’ve even got lots going on…”
You scroll through their social media looking to see how much time they’ve spent doing other non-important things like visiting family, working and looking after their children. To which you conclude, they had exactly 17 minutes spare that they didn’t use to buy your gift.
3. “I spent hours choosing their present!”
You thought about their interests, hobbies, favourite scent, favourite food, future plans, preferred style, the interior design of their home… Although you don’t give to receive, you can’t help but feel somewhat shortchanged here.
4. “Well, they bought [shared close friend] a birthday present”
The ultimate betrayal, but you still have to smile and act interested whenever your friend mentions or uses their (unfairly bought) birthday present. It’s a true test of your facial expression abilities.
5. “Okay, that’s fine, I’ll just conveniently forget theirs too.”
You don’t even care about the seriously high levels of pettiness going on, this is a justified case of tit for tat.
6. “We’ve been talking for 10 minutes and they still haven’t said Happy Birthday.”
Your body language is screaming ‘I’M WAITING FOR YOU TO SAY SOMETHING BEFORE I ACT NORMAL’ but at the same time you have to nod along and interject with fake laughs.
7. “Maybe I should have reminded them?”
But then you laugh at yourself for having such a ridiculous thought. People have Facebook, online calendars – they could have even studied the astrological star constellations to work it out! There’s no excuse.
8. “Maybe they’re doing it on purpose as a joke?!”
Your inner diva leads you to think all of this ‘forgotten your birthday’ fodder is just part of the build up towards a big, surprise birthday spectacular. It probably isn’t.
9. “I’ll give it another hour and then I’ll definitely say something”
An hour goes by, so obviously you postpone the big confrontation for another hour. Unintentionally, it’s now turned into a standoff, but it’s more a standoff with yourself as the other person doesn’t know or care what’s going on in your head.
10. “Wait, is it actually my birthday?”
At some stage in this emotional breakdown when someone forgets your birthday, you’ll even question whether you’ve got the right day. “Does Daylight Saving Time move entire days forward and back? Did I sleep for 72 hours? What year is it?”
11. “You know what, they’ve probably got bigger and more tropical fish to fry”
And you know what? They probably have, but that’s life and it’s okay. When someone forgets your birthday, it’s normal to have these thoughts, but don’t let it ruin your day! There’s always next year.